the worst advice ive ever recieved:

"having control is everything
even if that means sabotaging everything you have"

this really got me to think.
it hurt my heart a little for a bunch of different reasons.
but maybe in the end, that's all everyone wants.
some sort of control in their lives.

I feel like

when i am contended i cannot seem to write as well as i do when i am miserable.

but i am just so lucky.
even though i dont feel it sometimes.

i guess what i'll never understand

Is why some people feel the need to be loved by ultimately everybody.

You've got one person on your side, and they love you more than everyone in the entire world and you go and fuck them over because their love isn't enough for you.
I wonder what type of person you think you are.
Do you think you're so great that you deserve more than them?
Do you think you're so great that one girl isn't enough for you?

You are nothing.
Fuck you.

x

you're everything to me.

I can feel you.
I know you are there
with me in the darkness
with me in the light
I can feel your hand around my heart
gripping it
like it is yours.
It is yours.

I can feel you in my bed
laying with me when i sleep
you are with me in the darkness
and the nightmares
where you live.

I can feel you
holding me when i wake.
And kissing me when I cry.
You said you would be mine
until the day you die.

I can feel you
breathing for me
though you are not alive.
I can feel
you here with me
just making up for lost time.